Running My Own Race

Lately, I’ve been feeling like I am not living up to my potential. I’ve been in a bit of a summer funk and not truly pouring into my projects. Most of the time, I can admit it's laziness, but there are some special moments that I just don’t feel like I have the talent or ability. I think most people procrastinate on the things they are most passionate about because they are afraid they can’t complete the task. I haven’t written a blog in ages, not because I have nothing to say, but part of me feels like what’s the point, am I making a difference? Am I capturing my audience? The same goes for planning content, designing my fall collection, and doing the hard stuff of life. I continuously question my talent as if I haven’t produced anything worthy.

Why is it so easy for us to criticize or even praise others for the things they accomplish, but can’t seem to support ourselves? As I’ve been reflecting on the success of the launch of KAPHILL I’ve also been thinking of all the things I haven’t accomplished yet. All the things I thought would happen right away as if this is my first rodeo. I’ve been seeing other businesses in their season and wonder what I’m not doing that they have done. Don’t get me wrong I know everyone has their time and place, but it makes me wonder am I not working hard enough? Am I not putting in the hours they are? Am I not good enough? How can I connect with these people to sharpen my skill? What am I not cultivating on my own?

In a world that follows trends, it’s hard to not second guess taking the less traveled road. As I gear up for the fall I am trying to re-think my strategy and approach to KAPHILL. I am trying to tap into my business mind versus solely nurturing my creative mind. I am trying to make intentional connections to people who have the knowledge to help me along my journey instead of hinder it. I am also learning to give myself some grace, it Is ok to have human emotions. I am learning it's not bad to have a negative thought, it’s the actions that follow the thought that matter. I am also learning to live up to my potential, and not be jealous of my peers. I’ve learned and continue to learn that it’s ok to not have it all figured out because everything is already written.

Life doesn’t have to be exactly how we pictured it for it to be great. My skills can only sharpen with practice. My brand can only grow through awareness. My life can only change through actions. My confidence can only expand through mistakes. Grace is allowed if I give it to myself. Trends are made and I am a creator. And lastly, I can never come in last if I’m running my own race.