Selfish With My Care
I realize my self-care has been lacking. I haven’t truly poured into myself in years. I can’t say it’s because I am focused on my man, it’s actually because I’m so focused on building my business and pouring into my daughter that I’ve neglected myself. I can honestly say I feel more confident and content in my life but when I look at myself, I realize how lazy I am with my basic self-care. Little things like, getting a wax, getting my nails done, taking care of my skin, and even getting my hair done are last on my to-do list. This comes from a woman who would wake up every Saturday at 4:30 AM to be at the hair salon 45 minutes away from my house to get her hair done.
Getting out of the house has been even more of a struggle. I feel like those people in movies who emerge from their hibernation after being locked in their basement for years, looking like Tom Hanks from Cast Away. I am so locked in on my vision for KAPHILL, that it is hard for me to see what I’m doing to myself. All of my mental energy goes into making it happen. I am constantly anxious because the thought, “ what if it doesn’t happen” plagues my mind. This is plan A & B, so yeah, I can’t see it not happening.
But seriously I need to start pouring back into myself, setting time aside to hang out with my friends and do fun things like, get a massage, feel sexy again, go back to therapy, and just start living again! How many have I been invited to an event and can’t go I feel like I can’t go because I convince myself I have nothing to wear. Now you tell me how that makes sense. Or how many times do I rush through running errands or an event or everything? I need to learn to be in the moment and just live there. Find the joy there and stop continuously thinking about what’s next. Self-care is selfish and I have to make the time to pour into myself. So now you tell me how are you selfish with your care? Clearly, I can use some advice!
Krystal A Phillips